20 October 2010
It’s been 20 days since you gone.
I still haven’t found the strength to keep your stuff away.
And I still find peace and calm sleeping with your blankie.
I’d dream of you every now and then.
I don’t know how you are doing over there.
I like to believe that you are in happier and better place like everyone else been convincing me.
I would like to believe that.
I still secretly pick up your blankie and smell that scent and for a split second I can almost smell you.
Are you sure you are happy there? They are treating you alright?
Your food is still here, I still haven’t move it, so does your toys. In case you might miss them or need them.
I am still here. We are still here.
Missing you.
::full time mummy::part time yummy::
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
My little piece of heaven.
Days passed us by.
And it's still hard to sleep without you.
When usually you’re safe and sound tucked at my feet or mommybib's chest or in between us.
No matter how tired nowadays, I still can’t easily fall asleep.
I'd think of you.
The smell of your fur. That distinctive scent yang selalu menenangkan mummy.
The warmth that it gives. Bila hujan or rumah kita sejuk, selalu je kita berhimpit-himpit dan body warmth from each other J
The purring saying "i'm content too mummy and i love you too, now go to sleep"
And of course that wet nose of yours.
I miss those tiny footsteps of yours, slowly finding your way between us, not wanting us to sulk because you chose mummybib rather than me.
It's okay really.
I understand. I do.
We had our moments when mummyBib was away with her tournaments.
We did ya King and oh how i miss those moments. Just you and me.
I remember once when I was too tired to wake up and wanna continue sleeping, you cough so hard. Back then I thought you were trying to get my attention so mummy would teman you breakfast, but come to think of it, maybe those were the early signs of your deterioring health. I am sorry King. I was ignorant.
Even now, tiap pagi mummy masih tunggu suara King kejutkan kami untuk Subuh. Bila kami tarik selimut pasti King lagi bising dan pijak kepala mummy. You were persistent. King pasti sabar tunggu habis solat dan tak sabar nak upahnya, temankan King makan pula. Comel.
Now, no matter how many times I let the alarm snoozes off itself and wait for that furry paws to wake me again, it never came.
I still sometimes found myself waiting for you to take the morning shower, even though you hate to get your white fluffy paws wet, finally you'd just wait outside without fail.
and as upah, mesti teman King makan breakfast. Lagi. :)
But lately after breakfast, mummy mesti bagi something else pada King.
It was your medication King. For your heart and kidney.
Remember when you cant lift your head?
You can barely meow.
Bersyukur jumpa King di dalam toilet pagi tu.
You were pale and almost unconcious.
Berpisah kita sekejap for 6 days, but mommyBib never failed to visit you everysingle day.
Mommy Ina too.
You remember that King?
It was 7th of August 2010. After admitting you to Animal Medical Centre, we were asked to wait for the blood test result. We didn’t expect it at all. I was dumbstruck. MummyBib was beyond despair. Dr. Siva told us that you have Congestive Heart Failure. Jantung King dah bengkak dan besar, buah pinggang rosak.
I always knew you have a big heart. A big heart full of love for us and people around you.
You were put in an oxygen cube or ICU for 3 days. You fought and you gave everything you got.
By Friday, you were back in our arms again.
You lost 1.1kg. But you were still the most handsome cat ever.
You are a natural heartbreaker :)
Starting from that, Dr. Siva pesan, King kena makan ubat setiap hari tak boleh miss.
King memang budak baik.
Never missed your medication.
Even when we had to go back to Seremban.
Aunty Afina and Aunty Mariah ever willingly and more than honored to help to take care of you.
Oh King, mommy miss you so much.
I still wonder what you are doing at home when mummy at the office.
I still panic when it rains so heavily.
"have i shut the window?"
"did i close the sliding door?"
I know how much you hate the terrible sound of the storm and banging of the door when the wind blew so hard.
I keep wondering where will you be hiding when the rain finally pours that it makes funny noises through the door.
I still look forward finishing the work early so I get to get home first so you'd greet me at the door.
But as usual mummyBib will arrived first and steal your attention :)
Tapi King pandai ambik hati mummy. Mesti nak lelap tidur pada mummy. :)
Mummy minta maaf selalu tinggalkan King bila balik ke Seremban.
You cant travel anymore as Doc’s advised. Travelling made you anxious and it’s not good for your heart. Mummy tau King tak suka tinggal sorang, bila mummy say bye,you’d look away.When we say ‘we love you King” you’d move your ears. But still you wont look at us. I am sorry.
Tapi macamana King merajuk pun, by the time kami balik semula, kami tau King dah sedia menunggu di pintu. And without fail juga, mesti nak bawa mummyBib to your scratch post, show off how strong you’ve become. MummyBib’s your biggest fan, cheering you all the way. And you guys have your very own ritual where you’d stand up and listen to mummyBib’s song especially for you. Oh rindunya dengan tangan King yang berstokin putih tu..
Rindu.
Terlalu rindu.
Mummy tau King memang determine untuk sihat semula lepas keluar ward dulu.
King rajin makan ubat. Sekali sekala King cuba nak elak, tapi mummy tau bukan sebab King tak nak sihat, sebab King bosan mummy treat King macam King tak sihat sangat. No running, no jumping, no spontaneous acts and suprises.
Lama kelamaan,minggu demi minggu, King bertambah sihat, bertambah gebu. We were so happy and Dr Erni from Vet UPM was so relieved and happy for your progress. Next check up will be on November 1st at AMC.
But in 27th September 2010, mummy couldn’t find you. Nak bagi ur medication macam biasa. Tak mungkin King tak bangun lagi. Hati mummy dah tergerak.
I found you. Scared. Because King kencing atas lantai. Tapi mummy tak marah.
I know you would never do that for no reason at all. You were not feeling well. Sejuk kaki dan tangan King. I know I had to wake mummyBib up to take you to AMC ASAP.
The urine test was negative, but your blood test was not. By the second time we visit you, you were paralyzed and they cant seemed to know why.
We were getting really restless, as doctors cant seem to detect the reason you become paralyzed. I was ready to get a second opinion from Vet UPM. By then, more blood was taken from you and the xrays showed to lower spine injury.
Then by Thursday morning, I finally able to connect to dots, thanks to medical journals and articles, you got all the symptoms for Arterial Thromboembolism (ATE). With your medical file and history with me, and all the articles printed, Vet UPM , here I come.
But before I was able to , Dr. Sim called from AMC.
“King is not responding to his medication and we highly advised for you to come immediately”
You know the rest of the story King..
I can still feel you with us.
I accept the fact that you are gone.
But just let me hold on to this.
This memories.
Of how a cat able to make me feel human more than anything else.
Of how a cat taught us to love with all our hearts.
And expect nothing in return.
But gain more than we ever imagined.
King.
Of my heart.
And it's still hard to sleep without you.
When usually you’re safe and sound tucked at my feet or mommybib's chest or in between us.
No matter how tired nowadays, I still can’t easily fall asleep.
I'd think of you.
The smell of your fur. That distinctive scent yang selalu menenangkan mummy.
The warmth that it gives. Bila hujan or rumah kita sejuk, selalu je kita berhimpit-himpit dan body warmth from each other J
The purring saying "i'm content too mummy and i love you too, now go to sleep"
And of course that wet nose of yours.
I miss those tiny footsteps of yours, slowly finding your way between us, not wanting us to sulk because you chose mummybib rather than me.
It's okay really.
I understand. I do.
We had our moments when mummyBib was away with her tournaments.
We did ya King and oh how i miss those moments. Just you and me.
I remember once when I was too tired to wake up and wanna continue sleeping, you cough so hard. Back then I thought you were trying to get my attention so mummy would teman you breakfast, but come to think of it, maybe those were the early signs of your deterioring health. I am sorry King. I was ignorant.
Even now, tiap pagi mummy masih tunggu suara King kejutkan kami untuk Subuh. Bila kami tarik selimut pasti King lagi bising dan pijak kepala mummy. You were persistent. King pasti sabar tunggu habis solat dan tak sabar nak upahnya, temankan King makan pula. Comel.
Now, no matter how many times I let the alarm snoozes off itself and wait for that furry paws to wake me again, it never came.
I still sometimes found myself waiting for you to take the morning shower, even though you hate to get your white fluffy paws wet, finally you'd just wait outside without fail.
and as upah, mesti teman King makan breakfast. Lagi. :)
But lately after breakfast, mummy mesti bagi something else pada King.
It was your medication King. For your heart and kidney.
Remember when you cant lift your head?
You can barely meow.
Bersyukur jumpa King di dalam toilet pagi tu.
You were pale and almost unconcious.
Berpisah kita sekejap for 6 days, but mommyBib never failed to visit you everysingle day.
Mommy Ina too.
You remember that King?
It was 7th of August 2010. After admitting you to Animal Medical Centre, we were asked to wait for the blood test result. We didn’t expect it at all. I was dumbstruck. MummyBib was beyond despair. Dr. Siva told us that you have Congestive Heart Failure. Jantung King dah bengkak dan besar, buah pinggang rosak.
I always knew you have a big heart. A big heart full of love for us and people around you.
You were put in an oxygen cube or ICU for 3 days. You fought and you gave everything you got.
By Friday, you were back in our arms again.
You lost 1.1kg. But you were still the most handsome cat ever.
You are a natural heartbreaker :)
Starting from that, Dr. Siva pesan, King kena makan ubat setiap hari tak boleh miss.
King memang budak baik.
Never missed your medication.
Even when we had to go back to Seremban.
Aunty Afina and Aunty Mariah ever willingly and more than honored to help to take care of you.
Oh King, mommy miss you so much.
I still wonder what you are doing at home when mummy at the office.
I still panic when it rains so heavily.
"have i shut the window?"
"did i close the sliding door?"
I know how much you hate the terrible sound of the storm and banging of the door when the wind blew so hard.
I keep wondering where will you be hiding when the rain finally pours that it makes funny noises through the door.
I still look forward finishing the work early so I get to get home first so you'd greet me at the door.
But as usual mummyBib will arrived first and steal your attention :)
Tapi King pandai ambik hati mummy. Mesti nak lelap tidur pada mummy. :)
Mummy minta maaf selalu tinggalkan King bila balik ke Seremban.
You cant travel anymore as Doc’s advised. Travelling made you anxious and it’s not good for your heart. Mummy tau King tak suka tinggal sorang, bila mummy say bye,you’d look away.When we say ‘we love you King” you’d move your ears. But still you wont look at us. I am sorry.
Tapi macamana King merajuk pun, by the time kami balik semula, kami tau King dah sedia menunggu di pintu. And without fail juga, mesti nak bawa mummyBib to your scratch post, show off how strong you’ve become. MummyBib’s your biggest fan, cheering you all the way. And you guys have your very own ritual where you’d stand up and listen to mummyBib’s song especially for you. Oh rindunya dengan tangan King yang berstokin putih tu..
Rindu.
Terlalu rindu.
Mummy tau King memang determine untuk sihat semula lepas keluar ward dulu.
King rajin makan ubat. Sekali sekala King cuba nak elak, tapi mummy tau bukan sebab King tak nak sihat, sebab King bosan mummy treat King macam King tak sihat sangat. No running, no jumping, no spontaneous acts and suprises.
Lama kelamaan,minggu demi minggu, King bertambah sihat, bertambah gebu. We were so happy and Dr Erni from Vet UPM was so relieved and happy for your progress. Next check up will be on November 1st at AMC.
But in 27th September 2010, mummy couldn’t find you. Nak bagi ur medication macam biasa. Tak mungkin King tak bangun lagi. Hati mummy dah tergerak.
I found you. Scared. Because King kencing atas lantai. Tapi mummy tak marah.
I know you would never do that for no reason at all. You were not feeling well. Sejuk kaki dan tangan King. I know I had to wake mummyBib up to take you to AMC ASAP.
The urine test was negative, but your blood test was not. By the second time we visit you, you were paralyzed and they cant seemed to know why.
We were getting really restless, as doctors cant seem to detect the reason you become paralyzed. I was ready to get a second opinion from Vet UPM. By then, more blood was taken from you and the xrays showed to lower spine injury.
Then by Thursday morning, I finally able to connect to dots, thanks to medical journals and articles, you got all the symptoms for Arterial Thromboembolism (ATE). With your medical file and history with me, and all the articles printed, Vet UPM , here I come.
But before I was able to , Dr. Sim called from AMC.
“King is not responding to his medication and we highly advised for you to come immediately”
You know the rest of the story King..
I can still feel you with us.
I accept the fact that you are gone.
But just let me hold on to this.
This memories.
Of how a cat able to make me feel human more than anything else.
Of how a cat taught us to love with all our hearts.
And expect nothing in return.
But gain more than we ever imagined.
King.
Of my heart.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Eidul Fitri 1431H
For the first time EVER setelah 6 tahun bekerja... saya balik ke Seremban petang sebelum raya. raya eve la gitu Masih gigih bekerja pada hari Khamis di office yang dah sunyi sepi kecuali sayup-sayup lagu raya.
Tak terasa lagi kehangatan raya, maybe because tahun ni tak berbelanja sakan, sebab my partner-in-crime masih dlm recovery ACL reconstruction, so no jalan-jalan di TAR Road, Indian Mosque or PKNS Shah Alam. Not this year. Preparation pun ala kadar sahaja untuk our crib in SK, just lebihkan persiapan di rumah emak. Bib's mom pun tak sihat so and tahun ini tahun kedua Bib beraya without a father. So no persiapan besar-besaran, sekadar bersyukur kita sampai di akhir Ramadhan dan bersedia menyambut hari kemenangan. Alhamdulillah..
Disebabkan oleh saya telah gigih bercuti awal untuk mengemas rumah Paroi Jaya, so tatkala balik ke kampung halaman, semuanya dah kemas, cuma minor preparation sahaja, siap mak ajak jalan-jalan malam raya tengok umah atok di Golf Heights, balik umah je terus panik, sebab mak baru teringat tak buat soto lagi untuk besok.
Jadinya, mak tido jam 5 pagi juga. Haish. Aku dah lama ke laut jam 1am kat living hall.
But although niat nak mencipta rekod tidur paling awal malam sebelum raya masih gagal, the next day, Raya day itself telah menunjukkan kehangatannya.
Badan pun tak exhausted, emak pun tak lembik mengemas, so the environment was cheerful and happy. Content.
Malas nak type banyak, so enjoy the pics.
from left: my heavily pregnant sister, my SIL, yours truly and the best emak in the world ya'll
me and emak
SIL and my bro. Owners of BabyBundle Senawang. Do find them in FB!
my brother number 2 and SIL.adalah juga owners HaniBabyBundle di Johor
my eldest sister's daughters. Gorjes and gorjes :)
my eldest sister and her family.
Monday, September 20, 2010
there's always a first time.
For the first time EVER, 2010 adalah tahun keramat dan magikal (hurm..bukan magical macam iklan tv3 okay) kerana berjaya mengumpulkan SEMUA ahli keluarga saya ( wait..wait.. seorang anak buah tidak ada kerana beraya di rumah ibunya..) so ini adalah 99.9% complete.
Apa-apa pun, this year's raya adalah sangat best. Dengan Ila yang menunggu the birth of her second child, ( by the time publish ini telah pun bersalin. yay!) dan hofkos the food and more food.
Sangat sayang korang semua. Sangat the very bangat.
XOXO.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
29 Ramadhan 1431H
It's almost over.
Ramadhan will leave us soon.
Sempat ke kita bertemu lagi tahun depan?
Insya Allah.
Ramadhan will leave us soon.
Sempat ke kita bertemu lagi tahun depan?
Insya Allah.
:U:P:D:A:T:E:S:
Demit.
Lamanya tak update.
Janji meletop dah hapdet sampai download Tumblr apps kat ifon :P
Pastu memenuhkan phone je. update nye tang situ jugak.
Tapi rupanya macam cerita usop haslam dan prof digabungkan.
asap lebih sebab nak cover prop cikai.
eh apa ni.
Banyak benda jadi.
Banyak nak update.
Last update 2nd puasa kan?
Update I:
Awal puasa dah berniat tammau beli lauk pauk or tapau, i wanna di 100% home cooked meals. So sebelum puasa dah buat preparation dah. Blend bawang besar, bawang putih, halia, cili api, cili boh.Barang mentah pun beli and portion kan siap-siap untuk daily cooking. So today dah 29 Ramadhan, I am proud to say that, tak pernah tapau makanan lagi and out of 29 days, hanya 4 kali kot tak masak, itu pun sebab Open House invitation and dating di Tony Romas :) Yay!
Update 2:
For months Bib dah complaint pasal kaki dia sakit-sakit. Her heel spur, her calf, her knee, and we did all the readings and articles and allthewhatnots on youtube to find out why. She went to her Physio, asked around , went for massages, but despite all the pain, biasalah Bib, she still proceed with her trainings.
She was so determined to go to Trinidad&Tobago, but i insist dia buat further checkup.
To make long story short, we went to Kuala Lumpur Sports Medicine Centre (KLSMC) and jumpa Dr. Reza Ng (my friend's hubby) and did MRI.
Found out that her ACL dah complete torn.
So on 8th puasa after another long story decision making phase, she undergo her ACL Reconstructive Operation on 18 August 2010. I took 3 days leave and jadi penunggu dan extra nurse di situ. Oh ya, Bib operate di Hospital Pantai Ampang by Dr. Ezlan Merican, a very good (and handsome) doctor :)
So we checked in 18th and by Friday the 20th dah discharged. She need to buat rehab and physio for 6 months, which means she need to let go all of her appointments. It was hard at first but things need to be done and she's as disciplined as ever.
Update 3:
I cut long long tress medium length :P
Miss the long hair.
Update 4:
Historical event!
2010 adalah tahun rumah emak dikemas paling awal utk persiapan hari raya! yay!!!
Took 2 days leave 3-6 September to spring clean emak's house :)
Update 5:
I think, so far yang paling historical adalah when our beloved King was admitted for 6 days kat Animal Medical Centre, Wisma Medivet.
It was around 7ish on 7th of August, when aku ngan Bib tgh bersiap nak pergi appointment doktor Bib for her knee, then Bib perasan King, unlike his usual routine kejutkan ktorg untuk Subuh prayers. I found him in the middle bathroom, lying on the floor. His eyes were open but there was no sound, no movement. Badan dah sejuk. Berderau darah. Suddenly teringat dD my previous cat,yg died of poisoning.
Bawak King masuk bilik letak atas tilam and check him thoroughly. Lemah and sejuk. His paws sejuk bangat. Suruh dia bangun but he jatuh straight away and wont move. His eyes was .. hollow.
By then we knew, there's something terribly wrong with him. Wrap him up in his blankie, grab his carrier and off we go to the nearest vet.
Bib was nervous, I was speechless with king on my lap, and iphone to see if UPM vet is open , which they memang tutup on Sat!
nasib baik teringat Vet kat Jalan Tun Razak, googled and called them up. By 8.45am we reached AMC and by 9am, King was checked and the vet told us that his BP is almost none and they need to do blood test and other check up to come up with any diagnosis
Ina was there to see King through the grill. We hugged, we consoled, we were reunited.
Ina had to go back, and we went to Starbucks KLCC to get some food and coffee. And by 12.30, I called the vet and was told that King has Congestive Heart Failure, with damaged kidney.
Who would have thought.
We were both speechless and was drowning in our tears.
We rushed back to AMC.
He was admitted in ICU - because he cant breath on his own, he was put in a transparent cube filled with oxygen, dripped with his medication.
King was discharged 6 days after that, Bib visited him daily keeping him company.
He lost 1.1kg and gain that .1kg 3 weeks later :)
He cant be cured, but we can extend his life by giving him a better quality of life, constant medication and no excitement nor suprises meaning to more main-main and running around.
But he's happy. and we are blessed.
Update 6:
10.08.2010
Genap Arwah Hj. Shamsuri, Bib's father passed away.
Al-Fatihah.
pheww..
rasanya ada lagi yang tertinggal.
but i think tunggu la, my brain cells tak warm up lagi (padahal dah kul 2.30pm)
Toodles doodles.
Lamanya tak update.
Janji meletop dah hapdet sampai download Tumblr apps kat ifon :P
Pastu memenuhkan phone je. update nye tang situ jugak.
Tapi rupanya macam cerita usop haslam dan prof digabungkan.
asap lebih sebab nak cover prop cikai.
eh apa ni.
Banyak benda jadi.
Banyak nak update.
Last update 2nd puasa kan?
Update I:
Awal puasa dah berniat tammau beli lauk pauk or tapau, i wanna di 100% home cooked meals. So sebelum puasa dah buat preparation dah. Blend bawang besar, bawang putih, halia, cili api, cili boh.Barang mentah pun beli and portion kan siap-siap untuk daily cooking. So today dah 29 Ramadhan, I am proud to say that, tak pernah tapau makanan lagi and out of 29 days, hanya 4 kali kot tak masak, itu pun sebab Open House invitation and dating di Tony Romas :) Yay!
Update 2:
For months Bib dah complaint pasal kaki dia sakit-sakit. Her heel spur, her calf, her knee, and we did all the readings and articles and allthewhatnots on youtube to find out why. She went to her Physio, asked around , went for massages, but despite all the pain, biasalah Bib, she still proceed with her trainings.
She was so determined to go to Trinidad&Tobago, but i insist dia buat further checkup.
To make long story short, we went to Kuala Lumpur Sports Medicine Centre (KLSMC) and jumpa Dr. Reza Ng (my friend's hubby) and did MRI.
Found out that her ACL dah complete torn.
So on 8th puasa after another long story decision making phase, she undergo her ACL Reconstructive Operation on 18 August 2010. I took 3 days leave and jadi penunggu dan extra nurse di situ. Oh ya, Bib operate di Hospital Pantai Ampang by Dr. Ezlan Merican, a very good (and handsome) doctor :)
So we checked in 18th and by Friday the 20th dah discharged. She need to buat rehab and physio for 6 months, which means she need to let go all of her appointments. It was hard at first but things need to be done and she's as disciplined as ever.
Update 3:
I cut long long tress medium length :P
Miss the long hair.
Update 4:
Historical event!
2010 adalah tahun rumah emak dikemas paling awal utk persiapan hari raya! yay!!!
Took 2 days leave 3-6 September to spring clean emak's house :)
Update 5:
I think, so far yang paling historical adalah when our beloved King was admitted for 6 days kat Animal Medical Centre, Wisma Medivet.
It was around 7ish on 7th of August, when aku ngan Bib tgh bersiap nak pergi appointment doktor Bib for her knee, then Bib perasan King, unlike his usual routine kejutkan ktorg untuk Subuh prayers. I found him in the middle bathroom, lying on the floor. His eyes were open but there was no sound, no movement. Badan dah sejuk. Berderau darah. Suddenly teringat dD my previous cat,yg died of poisoning.
Bawak King masuk bilik letak atas tilam and check him thoroughly. Lemah and sejuk. His paws sejuk bangat. Suruh dia bangun but he jatuh straight away and wont move. His eyes was .. hollow.
By then we knew, there's something terribly wrong with him. Wrap him up in his blankie, grab his carrier and off we go to the nearest vet.
Bib was nervous, I was speechless with king on my lap, and iphone to see if UPM vet is open , which they memang tutup on Sat!
nasib baik teringat Vet kat Jalan Tun Razak, googled and called them up. By 8.45am we reached AMC and by 9am, King was checked and the vet told us that his BP is almost none and they need to do blood test and other check up to come up with any diagnosis
Ina was there to see King through the grill. We hugged, we consoled, we were reunited.
Ina had to go back, and we went to Starbucks KLCC to get some food and coffee. And by 12.30, I called the vet and was told that King has Congestive Heart Failure, with damaged kidney.
Who would have thought.
We were both speechless and was drowning in our tears.
We rushed back to AMC.
He was admitted in ICU - because he cant breath on his own, he was put in a transparent cube filled with oxygen, dripped with his medication.
King was discharged 6 days after that, Bib visited him daily keeping him company.
He lost 1.1kg and gain that .1kg 3 weeks later :)
He cant be cured, but we can extend his life by giving him a better quality of life, constant medication and no excitement nor suprises meaning to more main-main and running around.
But he's happy. and we are blessed.
Update 6:
10.08.2010
Genap Arwah Hj. Shamsuri, Bib's father passed away.
Al-Fatihah.
pheww..
rasanya ada lagi yang tertinggal.
but i think tunggu la, my brain cells tak warm up lagi (padahal dah kul 2.30pm)
Toodles doodles.
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